The last time I took part in Motherhood Monday I wrote about accepting your mistakes and moving on from them. This week I want to clarify that has NOT always been my mindset. I wrote that post because I am working on changing my attitudes and I needed the reminder to let it go as much as anyone!
Often times my mindset is goal-oriented, all or nothing, perfection or failure, and anything that gets in the way is a bother. I want to get things done right, right now.
This is not a very workable mindset for a homeschooling, mother of 4 young kids. It is not possible to work on anything straight through to completion considering my entire life is made of small bursts of productivity interspersed with large amounts of interuptions.
But, wait, there is my goal oriented mindset talking again. These “interruptions” are not interruptions they are life. They are moments of connecting with my kids, or training them, moments to model patience and love. These are moments to be enjoyed just because they are spent with my kids even when they are spent cleaning up messes and resolving conflict. They ARE NOT moments to be frustrated about, and hurry through in order to get back to my to-do lists and goal completion.
Thankfully there is a great thing about mindsets. They are changable. Like any habit, with hard work and consistency you can change which attitudes you fall back on.
So how do you change a habit?
How do you change your mindset?
1. Decide that you want to change.
Before you can change your attitudes towards situations you have to want to. Some people are perfectly content with (or perfectly oblivious about) having a negative outlook on life, they don’t feel a need to change the way they feel about or respond to life experiences.
I am not one of those people. Though while in the moment I tend to have negative reactions to things that dont “go my way,” when I look at the big picture I know and appreciate the blessings I have as a mother, I know that my goals amd to-dos are not the most important things but my relationships are. I want to cultivate that positive attitude in the everyday moments and in my day to day mindset.
2. Figure out which attitudes you want to make your new habits.
You have to know where you want to take your mindset in order to get there. You must figure out what parts of your mindset you are going to replace and what you are replacing them with.
I want to replace my feelings of frustration with feelings of gratefulness and appreciation. I want to replace my all or nothing attitudes with moderation. And I want to change my selfish, me centered thoughts to thoughts of love and understanding towards others.
3. Feed the mindset you want.
Once you decide to change, and decide what to change you have work at it. It’s not good enough to just think about and crave improvements in your mindset you have to consciously and consistently interrupt your unwanted attitudes and reactions, and replace them with the ones you want cultivate.
This will be a struggle. No matter how bad you want something changing your automatic responses isnt easy.
I am working on changing my mindset by being on the look out for any thoughts that don’t promote a healthy, positive, moderate outlook and purposefully thinking things like “my kids are only small once, enjoy these messy moments, take time to help them and be there for them, your to-do list will get done and just because it isn’t done now doesn’t mean you are a failure.” And for this to actually change my mindset I have to do this over, and over, and over. It is a practice makes perfect situation if there ever was one.
I’d love to write more but my children are calling and I am off to be grateful and happy that they are.
With Love, Amber
Don’t forget to check out all the other Motherhood Monday ladies’ posts!
If you have been following me for awhile you know I love physical books but I also read ebooks A LOT. I read on my phone and also on my Kindle (which I love) so when I saw that Kindles were on sale I just had to share with you all!
*Some of the links in this post are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I personally use and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
Right now the Kindle Fire tablet is 20% off, the Kindle Paperwhite is 17% off and the Kindle glare-free touchscreen, which is what I have is 25% off. If you have been wanting to get a Kindle now is a great time. You can check out all the kindle deals HERE!